You may not believe this, but some weeks the Paddling Upstream staff has a tough time choosing a topic. Sometimes we just grab a handful.
You may not believe this, but several people actually asked us who wrote the anonymous New York Times editorial. That's proof people know a great source when they find it.
Some of you may not believe we know the answer. We do, but swore we'd never tell. So rest easy Melania.
You may not believe this, but the world's most populated country is not China or India, but Facebooklandia. Over 2.2 billion people sign on to the social media giant at least once a month. That's slightly more people than read this column. Clearly, a full third of the world's population need something better to do.
Which may explain the next one.
You may not believe this, but there are people out there getting $80 an hour to cuddle with people who just want a hug. Tons of people out there long for some kind of human interaction. But buyer beware, cuddlers get time and a half if you check your smartphone.
You may not believe this, but the head of NASA is thinking about selling advertising on future rockets and the space station. They may even let astronauts take endorsement deals. According to a spokesperson, there's a whole universe of folks out there who've never heard of Diet Coke or Becker Law Offices.
And that great American beer owned by Europeans, Budweiser, will be the first beer on Mars. That will ensure those little green men are really green.
You may not believe this, but being married to someone who wrote "How to Murder Your Husband" isn't such a good idea. Romance writer Nancy Crampton Brophy made a name for herself penning forbidden love novels and essays. She was arrested this week for shooting...wait for it...her husband, a renowned culinary chef.
The only question is why it took 3 months for the cops to figure it out. Maybe they don't read enough.
You may not believe this, but Amazon has patented a plan for worker cages. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos said the only way he could keep his minimum wage employees from taking too many breaks was to cage them up. He promised to let them out of their cages once their shift is over so they would be free to apply for foodstamps and housing assistance like their counterparts at Walmart.
You may not believe this, but the Great Cheetoh tweeted he received an A+ for disaster relief this past year in Houston and the Florida Keys. It's good to know he's still enrolled in Trump University.
You may not believe this, but in related news, the Trump Administration moved over ten million dollars from the FEMA budget to the ICE budget. Officials say it's just a matter of priorities. Detention camps for refugee children has priority over electricity and drinking water for Puerto Rico.
Come to think of it, that last one's pretty easy to believe.