Have you ever had to make one of those phone calls? You know, the kind you're not sure how the person on the other end is going to take, but you're sure you don't want to make?
Well, I had to make a real tough call this week. One of the toughest I ever had to make. It was to an old friend, an old friend of many.
He's been out of pocket for a while, popping up here and there, mainly laying low. He calls me about every six or seven months to touch base, but this time I had to find him. I tracked him down through the usual network, the Elkhorn mafia, knowing I was the only person who could break the news.
Our conversation went something like this:
"Hello..."
"E, it's SJ, how ya' doin'?"
"TCB, baby."
"Good...good, how's the weather down there?"
"Hotter'n a clambake...but I don't figure you called to check the weather."
"Seen the paper lately?"
"You know I stay away from that stuff, SJ."
"Well Elvis, there's something you need to know."
"Priscilla ain't gone and raised the admission to Graceland again has she?"
"No, worse...it's Lisa Marie."
"What?"
"Well El, it looks like she's gone and married Michael Jackson."
"You mean that Rolling Stones guy with the big lips?"
"No E, that's Mick Jagger."
"Thank God, that dude is one strange slice of pie."
"Well..."
I have the feeling, at this point, some of you might be a bit incredulous of this conversation. I understand. Over 300 people saw him at the E.C. Alumni Banquet this year and no one believes that either. So I don't expect you to believe the phone call story. But it happened.
"So, you say this guys a singer...how's he doin?"
"El, Michael's pretty big, some say bigger than you..."
"Now wait a minute there, I'm the King."
"They call him the King of Pop."
"Sounds like a Coke commercial."
"Close..."
"Now let me get this straight, this is the same kid who sang that love song to a rat?"
As I mentioned, El doesn't really keep up with much since he went under, so explaining Jacko to him was a long and difficult project. I left out the part about Lisa Marie's alleged delicate condition, though. Some things go beyond explanation.
But you know what? He didn't take it hard. He sounded like he might even like the idea, especially when I told him Micheal had bought the rights to the Beatles songs right out from under Paul McCartney. Elvis never liked those guys.
Yep, said if the guy sells records he's certainly better than that last loser Lisa Marie may or may not be divorced from. Said he didn't care about all the stuff other people might think, just as long as his baby is happy. And doesn't sign anything.
I guess that's what makes him the King and me just me.
So Lisa, honey, you can rest easy. Your meal ticket gives you his blessing, which is more than I can say for the Elkhorn mafia.