You probably didn't notice, but I was away last week. I was being sardined during my usual column writing time.
And by sardined, I mean stuffed into an aluminum can with many others destined for far off lands. It's the only way I can describe air travel these days.
At one time, I was a very frequent flyer. I lived close to an airport in those days and work demanded it. Even averaging just a couple of flights a year in the last few, navigating the flying process has been pretty smooth.
The last time I took a plane anywhere was coming home from an annual convening of Levitt AMP Music Series producers out in Los Angeles in February 2020. There were two planes on that trip, one almost full and one almost empty. Just like the trip there.
I remember thinking it was odd a few people on some flights were wearing hospital masks. The trip was normal otherwise.
Then the coronavirus whacked us. Oddly enough, a worldwide pandemic was not mentioned in the things that can go wrong during a concert series session on my trip.
We figured it out. Shows got cancelled. Some shows were just streaming online without an audience. Some shows were drive-ins and the audience stayed in their car. And some shows were outside in front of the stage where they were supposed to be.
Our convenings and meetings became virtual Zooms. For nearly two and a half years.
But finally, the gathering was resumed and I got the opportunity to cross the country and hang out with people a lot smarter than me whose ideas I can borrow. It was time to go to an airport like hundreds of times before.
As anyone who lives here in paradise knows, often the trip to the airport takes longer than the air time to the final destination. Two hours if you're flying out of Bristol, 2.5 to 3 if you're out of Lexington. It used to be worth it.
Today it is not even close. Today you might want to think twice about flying to California or further. Planes may be bigger, but seats are smaller. The planes in and out of Lexington were full. The long legs in and out of L.A. had over 300 passengers on board each.
Once a long flight came with a meal. You could have a drink. Now it doesn't even come with peanuts and a pepsi.
Packed airplanes might not be so bad if the people who packed you on to the plane hadn't just used a caddle prod to do it. Besides the shoes, belt, and dignity TSA makes you remove just to get to the gate, airline agents are now forcing you to check-in and check luggage on a computer instead of doing it themselves.
It's because they can't make the touchscreen work either. I watched.
I'm not sorry I went to California last week, the convening is worth whatever you have to do to get there. I'll definitely be there the next time and the time after that if they'll let me.
But I'm never going like a sardine again.