The calendar says it's the last day of the year. Didn't we end this year about 365 days ago?
I'm convinced that for the first time in my life, I've just experienced a 730 day year. The frightening part of the experience is it's 730 and counting. This year isn't over.
Yes I know, "the calendar says, the calendar says". But I say don't believe everything you hear and don't jump just because they say jump. What you really need to believe is the Gregorian calendar we use is a centuries old conspiracy.
Calendar makers want you to believe years pass just so they can sell more calendars. End of story.
Just who are they to make you change years anyway? The year you live in is your choice, not theirs.
You should ask yourself just who this Gregory guy was. Besides a pope, that is. Most likely he had a side hustle with the Gutenbergs, Bibles and greeting cards and such. Greeting cards were cheap and sporadic. Bibles were a one time purchase.
But long before your I-Phone, Gregory created built-in obsolescence with his calendar. Every 365 days, you had to get a new one. There are 19th generation Gregorians getting new yachts yearly on your addiction to new year celebrations.
This is the 540th year of using the Gregorian calendar. Some of you might note humans have made a lot of progress in those years (others might argue). At the very least, bath products have gotten better. But in all those "years", not one update.
Think about it.
Maybe I have digressed a bit. I was lamenting this last day of the year thing. We may tell ourselves that this is the last day of 2021, but it really isn't.
The truth is 2020 never ended. We tried to end it 365 days ago but we were fooling ourselves. It wasn't finished with us. The year of the pandemic cannot end until the pandemic ends and the pandemic most certainly hasn't ended.
Unfortunately for all of us, we can't really move forward, no matter what the calendar says. We are stuck. This year isn't going to end until enough of us are resolved to do the things it takes to end a pandemic. It means vaccinations and masks and testing and a few minor inconveniences.
Not one of those minor inconveniences include giving up your rights, living in fear, or turning your back on your religion. Not a single one.
By the way, I'm not alone believing we're still stuck in last year. Meat and Tater are right there with me. They would have chimed in, but Tater told Meat if she didn't get some winter before the end of December she'd melt. They're in Maine.
So Moonpie and I won't be celebrating tonight. That's okay, we won't be sad about it. And in the spirit of community, we'll not get in the way of those of you still under the yoke of the calendar. To each of you, we wish a happy "new year".
We'll save the champagne until this long, terrible year is really over. Then we'll go to work on this calendar conspiracy.