Today's word of the day is irony. If you don't like that one try hypocrisy or audacity or turtlemerity.
Not familiar with the term turtlemerity?
Well, neither was I until I made it up, but now that I bounce it around the old cranial ball court, I'm liking the sound of it. Let's try it in a sentence, shall we?
Some might be bold, but only Mitch McConnell has the turtlemerity to demand corporations stay out of politics after a lifetime of selling them politicians.
Did you get that? Maybe a little awkward, but I think that sentence captures the flavor of turtlemerity pretty well.
Not sure? Let's go back to irony then. Isn't it ironic that the guy who championed the concept of money equaling speech to justify unlimited political contributions from individuals and corporations now demands these same entities to stay out of politics?
Yes, it is ironic. One might argue it is also hypocritical since he hasn't stopped taking money from those corporations. One could also point out how audacious it is to demand the people who keep him in Italian shoes suddenly butt out.
This is why turtlemerity is the ideal descriptor of this situation. Only the great Yertle has mastered the ability to be simultaneously ironic, hypocritical and audacious with one simple statement.
What brought our esteemed senator to exhibit such turtlemerity? Well, I think he was really just trying to give some cover to his Republican brethren in Georgia the way an adult duck will work to distract predators from the baby ducks when they are being too noisy.
What the Georgia ducks are about to learn is while corporations love tax breaks in an open market, they tend to love the democratic values that support an open market just a little more in the 21st century. Voter laws that favor one group over another are just as anti-capitalism as they are anti-democratic.
Threats against Coke and Delta and even Major League Baseball by the Georgia statehouse (or any other) will only result in corporate dollars flowing to candidates who aren't threatening them. Senator Yertle sees that one plain as day unlike his less seasoned teammates.
Which is why he had to exhibit such turtlemerity. Mitch McConnell does not want corporations to stay out of politics any more than he wants them to stop lining his pockets and keeping his party in power. But the baby ducks want to quack and its best he put the target on himself until they quiet down.
The lord of the swamps is famous for playing chess when his opposition is playing checkers. Unfortunately for him, many of his party's younger generation can't even play tic-tac-toe. Checkers might as well be trigonometry.
You know Yertle sees this and it has him flustered. But that doesn't mean he'll be quiet. There'll be plenty more opportunities for him to exhibit turtlemerity the way only he can. That is one thing we all can depend on from the esteemed senator of no.
A snapping turtle doesn't let go until it hears thunder and this one can't hear a lick.