You'll have to excuse my typing today, my arm is in a sling. I sprained my elbow this morning.
How did I do that? Let me start at the beginning.
Four years ago this week a very different individual moved into the White House. He came to be known by many handles in this column: the Oval Office Fraud, the Great Cheetoh, Cadet Bonespurs, Putin's Puppy to name a few.
But there were two words we never used with Trump. The first is "honest" which I think goes without explanation. The second word is "president", specifically "President of the United States".
That's because if there was ever a person who hated the United States, it's the guy who never came close to winning the popular vote. It's the guy who praised Putin and Kim and Duterte but insulted McCain and Bush. Trump became president of the klansmen, of the nationalist zealots, of the billionaire greedheads with their private islands, but never of the United States of America.
In fairness, it looks like the billionaires have had second thoughts.
Within a month of the inauguration, I wrote here that Trump would be the first impeached for treason in our history. When he was impeached for obstruction of justice, it was a bittersweet victory of prognostication. It was nice to be half right, but I was honestly disappointed. Obstruction of justice? That's just so common.
As we knew, a McConnell led Senate would never convict the Donald. Mitch wanted his judges on the bench and nothing Trump could do short of nominating Obama would get in the way.
But a funny thing happened. We learned most Americans aren't so delusional to think a pandemic that has killed family is a hoax. They made this known by turning out in record numbers to vote for the other guy.
In completely predictable fashion, Trump stoked delusions. Not only had he won the vote, he won by a landslide! And if he didn't, it's because China and Jeff Bezos cheated.
These delusions appealed to the true Trumpet because reality is not something Trumpets recognize. It didn't matter that facts, courts, and actual Republicans refuted the delusions.
I guess it's hard to turn off delusional. Once it takes over, it takes hours of counseling and a good tractor to get the proverbial head out of the proverbial butt.
But bad things can happen when you feed delusion to the delusional. The storming of the U.S. Capitol was predictable. Five people died for no reason.
On Wednesday, articles of impeachment were taken up against Donald Trump, making him the first White House occupant impeached twice. For once, the man actually earned something on his own.
What does this have to do with a sprained elbow you ask? Well, when I saw the charge on the impeachment I ran over to Meat's to gloat.
Incitement of insurrection might not be treason, but it's close enough.
So take it from me, when you're proudly patting yourself on the back, don't get overzealous. It's hard to type with one good arm.