On the Porch

With all the election hoopla the last couple of weeks, I lost all track of the neighbors.  I hadn't seen them in at least a week, so I stepped onto their porch yesterday and knocked on the door.

"Got your mask on?" came Tater's voice from just inside the door.

"Of course..." I replied with my hand on the screen door handle.

"Good," Meat's voice this time, "Now turn around and go home. We don't want any."

"Yeah right." I replied, expecting him to pull open the front door.  But he didn't.  I stood waiting with a grip on the screen door for a couple of beats.

"Wait...are you serious?"

Meat's voice came from behind the locked door.  "Not sure if you've heard, but there's a pandemic and we're staying right in here and you right out there at least until the Pike County incidence rate drops below critical."

I backed a couple of steps from the door, but stayed on the porch.  I still wasn't sure if he was pulling my leg or not.

I yelled through the door.  "I just wanted to get your election reactions before you went off to Vermont or wherever for Thanksgiving."

The sound of a bolt lock releasing and the door starting to open made me think my leg was being pulled. But the door stopped opening when the chain was taut. I could make out Tater through the crack.

"We aren't going anywhere for Thanksgiving.  We've got a honey ham on the way and we've got green beans and corn put up in the pantry.  All I need is a can of cranberry sauce and we're set.  Any chance you're going to the store between now and Wednesday night?"

I scratched my head.  "Well I'm sure I am sometime."

Meat's disembodied voice came from somewhere behind the door. "Great bud, we'll take two cans of cranberry sauce and a twelve pack of Miller Lights."
This time Tater turned toward Meat. "I believe the five cases you already have is quite enough to get us through Thanksgiving, thank you."  She looked back at me through the crack. "One can of sauce is plenty. Just leave it by the door."

She started to close the door.

"Wait a minute.  I haven't heard from you guys since Biden got the call. What's the matter?"

The door reopened to chain width.  Tater's eyes smiled above her mask. "Well that's something to be glad about, but a lot of places went backwards, this state included.  Republicans hate democracy and we're not out of the woods even if Uncle Joe is president. Yertle is still in charge."

"Maybe, maybe not.  Georgia could surprise us all, they already did once!"

Tater's eyes thinned.  "But we won't know for two months.  Plenty of time to cover it when things cool down.  Go home.  Want to talk, pick up the dang phone.

With that, the door shut with the sound of bolting bolts. I backed off the porch over to my front door.  Their door didn't come flying open.

Deep down, I know they're right.  The pandemic doesn't care what time of year it is.  Neither should you.