Anybody out there looking for office space? Then do I have a deal for you!
In reality, I don't have a deal for you. I'm not the dealmaker. I'm yet to write a book about making deals.
I'm just pointing out the possibility of a great deal. So try not to make a big deal out of it, okay?
But it's real, it's so real Meat is up in Manhattan to check it out. He said he's been looking for a nice office for a new business he's starting exporting pawpaws and knotweed.
He heard there's quite a market for those things in California and, in his words, "there's no better place to trick Californians into importing pawpaws than Manhattan."
It really doesn't make any sense to me, either, but I try not to question genius. Or lunacy. It's hard to differentiate the two, sometimes. But I digress.
The office space available, or condo if that's your thing, is in none other than Trump Tower. According to Bloomberg, my second favorite magazine for rich people, the Donald's signature property has become the least desirable location in Manhattan's high rent district.
Where office space with views of Central Park easily get over $100 per square foot in rent, comparable space in Trump Tower's last published price was only $72 per square foot. The current advertised price is "make an offer".
Of thirteen Trump Tower condos sold since the Great Cheetoh took office, eight have been sold at an inflation adjusted loss. Only 57 other homes in Manhattan, out of nearly 25,000 sold, have been at a loss.
That appears to be the norm for all of Trump's properties across the country. The only Trump property making big bucks is the Trump Hotel in Washington, DC, where guests from the former Soviet Union get government rates.
Don't get me wrong, the properties are still making money, just not at the rate most commercial properties make money. Or at the rate Trump's creditors expected. Luckily, the Trump 2020 Committee has paid $890,000 in rent the last two years at the Tower. You know the Donald gave that outfit a real deal.
Meat's plan is to offer $50 per square foot for a two hundred square foot space. That's still $10,000 per month rent, which some would say is high. Not Meat.
"I'll be making that much a day once those crazy Californians are hypnotized by the Central Park view. Just like fishing in a barrel."
I know this because he just called me from the Trump Tower sales office. Part of me thought it was a joke, but it looks like he's really going through with it. He said the trickiest part was getting past the prescreen questions.
The very first question was 'Did you vote for Trump in 2016?'. If you answered yes, rates for office space started at $110 a square foot. If you answered no, rent was negotiable.
"That seems backward," I said. Not really, said he, rental rates in Manhattan are primarily based on gullability. Hard to come up with a better question to learn how gullible somebody is.
No doubt. What's the deal with that?