It's been a busy week in the webb wide whirled. If I can get your signature on this, we'll get started.
When word broke that Trump was signing Bibles in Alabama, some were confused. No one's had the audacity to stick their name on the front of the good book since King James. Is this some kind of sign?
Junior Earl Justice, Jr., owner of Truth Tracts and Tanning, isn't confused. "My phone's been blowing up, the good people are wanting those Trump Bibles! I'll be selling them as soon as I find the distributor."
According to Junior, Jr., an autograph isn't all that makes these books special. The Trump Edition will be shorter, reflecting the Donald's belief that reading should be kept to as few words as possible.
"The Trump Book will only include Genesis, Leviticus, Job and Revelations. All those other books are fluff anyway. Real Christians don't need that Jesus stuff."
While some believe putting Trump's autograph on a Bible is like scribbling VOID across a check, others see cash. "These new and improved Trump Books will be flying off the shelves. I'm going to get rid of my poker machines for more space!"
Sarah Huckabee Sanders was unsure when the Bibles would hit the shelf. The Chinese printers were still setting the type at press time. But she assured us her father would be selling them on Fox News shortly.
Speaking of Fox News, the kid from Covington wrongly accused of being a mindless racist MAGA hat wearing Trumpet decided to go on the mindless racist MAGA hat wearing Trumpet channel to announce he's suing every news organization not owned by Rupert Murdoch.
That'll show the world he's innocent. It's their fault, not the conservative private boy's high school that sent him to Washington DC to demonstrate against women's rights. They have no responsibility whatsoever.
Keeping with no responsibility, the budget proposed by the White House adds money for the Pentagon, but cuts Medicare and Medicaid. This despite the fact a campaigning Donald swore he'd never cut those programs.
It would also balloon the deficit by 55%. The same deficit the Don campaigner said he'd erase within 8 years.
Hard to believe the Oval Office Fraud would lie, isn't it?
And finally, in the hard to believe category, the world wide web turns 30 years old this week. Remember when those young whipper snappers in the 1960s said never trust anyone over 30?
Well friends, they were right. I was a very early adapter, contributor and proponent of the world wide web. I believed it would revolutionize politics, free expression and commerce across the globe.
Unfortunately, I was right. What we called the information highway became the misinformation back alley. Instead of reliable reasoning, we got Breitbart. Instead of honest discussion we got Topix. Instead of growing niche markets we got Amazon.
My enthusiasm for the child world wide web is long gone. I just hope it matures into a more responsible citizen.
There may be hope. I heard one of those Trump Bibles went for hundreds less than asked for an online auction site. That seems like a good sign to me.