Flags are flying at half staff today over the White House. Cadet Bonespurs is in mourning.
While some may believe the observance is for the mindless massacre in a Pittsburgh synagogue or perhaps the racist fueled takedown of two African Americans in a grocery near Louisville, the loss that devils the Donald occurred in West Virginia.
Whitey Bulger is no more.
"So sad. We've lost another great Whitey to terrorists!" cried the Fraud's latest tweet.
The loss is a real blow. Crime bosses, when not shanking one another, have genuine admiration for their peers. It's only natural for the godfather of America's number one crime family to be shaken by the murder of Boston's notorious mob boss.
But there's no time for mourning and Herr Cheetoh knows it. There are somewhere between 50 and 50,000 women and children headed in our general direction from a couple of those brown countries south of Mexico and our borders must be protected. There isn't much time, they're only a thousand miles away and travelling by foot.
We've got to make a display guaranteed to scare the bejesus out of our base by Tuesday, seeing how the first wave of invading children could be here by December. Christ might have said welcome the refugees, but today's anti-Christian knows he was referring only to the blond haired blue eyed ones that look like him.
Jesus might have been born in Palestine, but his parents were Swiss. Only Trump Christians know this. What we need are more Russian immigrants, especially the meme-making ones.
Trump loves memes so much because the only thing better than one of me is two of mes. Most people don't realize MAGA stands for Memes Against Great America.
The good news for all the civics impaired citizens out there is the great Secretary Theysay has come forward to give Trump the power to over rule a constitutional amendment with an executive order.
Somehow that ability was lost on the previous inhabitants of the White House, but they didn't have a great counselor like Theysay whispering in their ear. Just imagine what Nixon could have done with that pesky "freedom of the press" thing if he'd only had Theysay on staff.
But the number one problem in America today is that silly 14th amendment, the one that guarantees citizenship to anyone born on our shores. It'd be a lot cleaner if it said registered republicans born on our shores who own tanning beds.
That's the kind of thing an executive order can fix in an instant. Unconstitutional? Not with great Americans like Kavanaugh on the court. There's not enough beer in America to make him rule an executive order unconstitutional.
Republicans in some states are doing their best to clean out voter registrations to make sure the electorate reflects the new and improved executive order 14th Amendment for Tuesday's election.
We'll see if their efforts have the desired effect.
One can only hope the Party of David Duke has done such a good job scaring the crap out of its base they'll be too scared to leave the house on election day. After all, Honduran refugees are coming...sometime...eventually.