There are times meditating in a flower bed is the only solution. Meat's words, not mine.*
Let's start at the beginning. A couple of weeks ago, I got home to find Meat sitting on a mini-excavator with half of his front yard dug up. I'd been gone a day, so had no idea what he was up to.
I wandered over and he cut the engine. "Finally digging that root cellar?"
"Got tired of hearing Tater complain about how hard it was to plant flowers out here, so figured I'd loosen up some dirt."
"Don't most people use a tiller for something like that?"
Meat gave me the wide stare he gets when he thinks something is too obvious to mention. "It was only forty dollars a day more to rent this and they delivered. Options, man, options."
Indeed. I told him to make sure he didn't option himself into my yard and left him to it. Most people would get nervous seeing an excavator a couple of feet from their property line but I knew Meat knew what he was doing.
A week later, Tater had turned the dirt yard Meat left into something straight out of Better Homes and Gardens.
There was foxglove, begonia, and lavender. Petunias, dahlias, and black-eyed susans. Snapdragons, lilies and hydrangias.
A row of rose bushes lined the porch and a stone walk cut through the middle. Strips of fresh green sod filled the empty spots between pine mulch filled flower beds. A couple of days after she finished, everything was blooming like it'd been there for years.
It is a magical miracle. Tater is a landscape Artist with a capital A. The only problem is traffic on our quiet street has exploded with people coming to take a look. But that might change after this morning.
I was out of the house early, before 8. There was some coolness in the air and morning fog still shrouded the hills surrounding Elkhorn. But the birds were singing and there was a low hum that almost sounded like a beehive in the distance.
I turned toward's Meat & Taters' because that's where the humming came from. Sitting in front of the rose bushes amongst the colors was Meat. Naked. I'd say he was in the lotus position but the truth is I averted my eyes as soon as I realized I was seeing all skin.
"Ommmm."
"Dude. What the..." Use your imagination to fill that in and your imagination is right.
"I don't know what to make of the world SJ. Reality ain't real. The great pumpkin says our closest allies are backstabbing weaklings and our longest standing enemies are people we can trust. He wants a trade war with our closest trading partners and promises to protect the ones pointing nukes at us. I can't believe I thought Cadet Bonespurs was the answer. Where would I be without Tater?"
"Probably not sitting in a flower bed in your front yard naked. Go put some clothes on."
I imagine he gave me that wide eyed stare, but like I said, I was averting.
"Haven't you heard, SJ, there are times meditating in a flower bed is the only solution."
Yeah, that's what I hear.
* In the week of June 7, 2018, a nude female was discovered in the flower bed beneath the Pikeville Medical Center's sign outside the hospital entrance. She stated she needed a place to meditate.