I'll bet you fifty six and a half rubles you've fallen for a Russian hoax. I'm not referring to the one in the Oval Office, either.
According to thirteen indictments from the Special Counsel, Russian troll farms spread misinformation riling both ends of our political spectrum before and after the 2016 election. The indictments against Russian nationals paint a chilling picture of how easily voters can be manipulated through social media.
If you've shared a meme or anything politically slanted on Facebook or Twitter in the last 2 years, you probably owe me. Just ask Mr. Mueller and send your dollar bill right this way.
United States currency, please.
If you, like Facebook and the NRA, were on the payroll of one of those upstanding all-American indicted Russians, you already know how many rubles make a dollar. The rest of us had to google it.
56.59 rubles make one U.S. dollar. A ruble is .018 of a dollar, not even two cents. A ruble won't even get you an opinion.
You'd need about 226 rubles to get a six pack of Bud. Catching a movie will run you over 452 rubles. Need a thousand dollar car? That'll take 56,590 rubles.
Wonder how many rubles to fill an oval office? You know, hypothetically?
Speaking of the oval office, the fraud occupying it got a couple of things right this week.
In a tweet that wasn't produced by a troll farm, he claimed the Russians were laughing at Americans. No sugar Sherlock! The great cheetoh has an uncanny grasp of the oblivious.
In the wake of another school shooting tragedy, he's also calling for a ban on bump stocks and tighter gun control regulations. Unfortunately, his party is a wholly owned subsidiary of the National Rifle Association.
While the Donald calls for regulations, the rest of his party has reversed course on education. It may be impossible to find enough money to educate our youth, but it's never hard to find enough money to put more guns in schools.
After this policy shift from the Repugs, look for more fire trucks equipped with flame throwers and gas cans.
Wasting no time, the Florida House of Representatives welcomed survivors of the Parkland massacre by ignoring gun control and declaring porn a public health risk.
That's decisive action right there. Think the NRA is getting it's rubles worth in Tallahassee?
Here in Kentucky, the party not working for you is shooting holes in the medical coverage of a half million Kentuckians. Governor Bible Thumps says that's what Jesus would do.
Expect him to revise his education budget to provide holsters for teachers. They can pay more for their insurance to offset the holster cost.
Don't tell anyone, but a Kentucky House seat flipped to the Democrats in Tuesday's special election. The seat had been vacated due to acute led poisoning.
The Democrat won by a two to one margin in a district where Trump got 3/4 of the vote in 2016. It's the 37th seat to go blue in a year.
Some would call that a trend. Just my two cents, still worth more than a ruble.