I don't want to talk about winter. Maybe it'll just go away if we ignore it.
By the time you read this, the thermometer has probably climbed over freezing. In a couple days you'll forget about those busted pipes.
But I'm pounding keys at this moment with frozen fingers because they're about the only thing not covered in dense fleece or flannel. Yes I have the heat on, but it's 7 degrees this morning.
To fight that kind of chill, I'd have to sell AEP my house. They're already getting my car for last month's bill.
Since Christmas day, we've stayed under 35 degrees 19 of 24 days. We've been in the teens 17 of those days and in single digits 8.
We haven't had this kind of drawn out cold spell in years around here. At least we finally got some snow so things would look pretty out my window. The bitter temperatures paired with the bare tree covered gray and brown hillsides put me in a funk only whitewater can pull me out of.
And of course, snow is white water.
It's worth mentioning, because we've been in a real drought in the Russell Fork watershed since November. We've had hardly any precipitiaton to speak of until the last week. The snow we got Tuesday would have been the heaviest rain we had in months if it'd been over 40 degrees out.
We've been spoiled the last few winters. It's been unseasonally warm temperatures through December and January with a week or two of snow and ice in February. A Wisconsinite would swear we haven't had a winter in years.
But what do they know? They're all drunk on cheese and Old Milwaukee. I really just wanted to type Wisconsinite. That many letters warms the fingers.
Warmth is what it's all about for me now. I used to look forward to winter. I found the snow and the wind and the cold stimulating. I loved going out in it and could spend hours and hours outside in the elements.
I once lived ten years in Atlanta longing for winter. Now I spend winter longing for Atlanta.
Better yet, any point south where a cold spell is a couple days in the 50s. Doesn't that sound great right now? By the way, if you ARE someplace like that, please keep it to yourself. Nobody likes you on Facebook anymore.
In the meantime, hang on. Like I typed in the beginning, when you read this you might be thinking it isn't cold anymore at all. A warm-up is right around the corner.
But ole SJ lives in the now and right now it's cold as the proverbial well digger's butt. The kind of cold that cuts deep. It's the kind of cold that makes you stupid.
Which might explain this week's Tide pod eating craze. But probably not.
Speaking of, this chill has slowed me down to a crawl. Even these supergenius brain synapses are lagging. I'm running behind and a deadline looms. I better get cracking.
The newspaper editor is probably wondering if my internet pipe is froze.