Now that the new year is upon us, I'd like to begin the season by getting a few things off my chest. Try not to be too blown away by the truth bombs I'm about to drop.
Let's begin with the obvious. I"m, like, really, really, really smart. Of course, you already knew that. It's why you're reading this aloud to yourself right now.
But the point is that is at least two really's smarter than the Oval Office orange. He himself said he was "like, really smart". Well a really smart guy like that knows the difference between really and really, really, really.
For reals.
I've only known one true stable genius. They called him Mr. Ed, the talking horse. If you use the phrase "for reals", you'll probably need to google Mr. Ed. I'm waiting on you Wilbur.
There are many levels of genius, but up to now, very few two legged versions of the stable variety. Most two legged geniuses fall in the evil, musical, or Gump camp. There are a couple of super geniuses running and rolling around. Like me.
Some of you might suggest no real genius would refer to themselves as a genius. After all, Einstein referred to himself as "simply curious". And to that I'd say, it depends. Is the person making the claim really smart, or really, really, really smart?
The point is clear.
The 24 hour news channels are in a fever over Fire and Fury. The news channel on the right says it's untruthful and the news channel on the left says it's truthy enough.
The 24 hour news channel in the middle says nothing. That channel doesn't exist.
If you're as smart as I am you realize it's both and the news channels are neither, but that won't stop folks in bars and airports around the country from being beaten senseless with their nonsense.
So what is Fire and Fury? Well it's not the schematic blueprints for the Trump Tower heating system. Although that might make the best seller list next week.
Fire and Fury is a book written by some guy who crashed on the couch in the Oval Office the first few months of the Trump administration. No one remembers actually talking to him which is okay because he wasn't interested in what they were saying.
He was listening to what they were thinking. That's the kind of thing like, really smart people do. In the 3 hours the author claims to have spent with Trump, they never exchanged a single word.
But you know they both knew what the other was thinking. One was thinking "Did Bannon bring you in?" while the other was thinking "I'll be rich in six months!".
I haven't actually read Fire and Fury. Being the really, really, really smart guy that I am, I already know what's there. And frankly, I don't have time to read a book written by a gossip columnist.
Really, really, really smart super geniuses like me have much better things to do with our time. Anybody know what time Mr. Ed comes on TV-Land?