While you're recovering from your turkey hangover, Meat and I are somewhere on the Pine ridge under an overhang. There are no turkeys in sight.
This year, Meat didn't greet me on Thanksgiving day with "Happy Trumpsgiving". He's decided it's not nearly as funny as it was last year when I'd decided it wasn't nearly as funny as the year before.
I know, you have a turkey headache. I'll give you a minute to get your head around that last paragraph.
Tater's gone to Vermont for the holiday and to hunt a few New England turkeys. She says her home state turkeys are saltier. Meat can't understand why she doesn't just add more salt to the Kentucky turkey once it's on her plate. Yankees don't salt anything he says.
I'm thinking maybe Thanksgiving apart is not such a bad thing for Meat and Tater.
Meat and I have been having a hard time finding something to be thankful about this particular year. Aside from being outside surrounded at this moment by some of God's greatest creation, that is.
Only a self-absorbed basspole like the guy in the White House (when he's not on the golf course) could miss being thankful for tromping around the Pine Mountain. But it's hard to get around the ridge on a golf cart, so he'd likely miss it.
I don't have the heart to remind Meat I'm thankful for the steady stream of ridiculous since the reality star took the White House. It's taken the fun out of the weekly column, though. You don't get to make up crazy scenarios when reality has become theater of the absurd.
At least I have Meat to keep me company and keep me focused on the silly inside the tragedy. He tells me next year instead of wishing each other Happy Trumpsgiving, we'll be crying "Happy Trumpstaking".
It makes sense. So far, he's tried to take away healthcare, environmental protection, consumer protections, middle class tax deductions, free speech rights, small business rights, internet access rights, voting rights, and citizenship for dreamers.
We are both thankful he's failed miserably in much of those efforts, but eventually the blindfolded kid swinging the bat will hit the pinata. Usually it happens when he pays someone to do it for him.
By next November, especially after the latest general election results, the Fraudster might have figured out a way to cancel elections period. He might have figured out a way to end free speech. He might have figured out a way to keep you completely under the thumb of Trump International.
Now I seriously doubt he will. I expected the worse and we're getting it. I also expect the pendulum to swing in both directions. We're hearing the rumbling through the latest election results. Putting the worst of the worst in charge creates a backlash.
The folks who voted for him thought he'd be some kind of Robin Hood. They were half right, he is the Robbing Hood, taking the rest of what you've got to keep for himself.
At least he's got Roy Moore's back and who isn't thankful for that? Besides your daughter, I mean.