Anyone remember the Clash song "When Ivan Meets GI Joe"? No? You should look it up.
Because today Ivan meets GI No.
That's right. Today the Donald (insert your own air quotes) "finally" meets his principal campaign strategist Vladimir Putin. We're guessing Trump won't be trying his hand wrasslin moves on the former KGB agent.
There's a sense that anything could happen in this meeting. Trump's handlers have no more idea than you do what he'll really do face to face with the Russian leader.
Putin's own gamesmanship when meeting other heads of state is legendary. He could arrive shirtless on a horse. And if he does, will the Donald swoon? We know he has something for those strong leader types.
We'll really get to see the reality TV star's acting chops as he talks tough for the Trumpets who still buy his bluster while scrambling to live up to his side of the bargain with the Russian oligarch when the cameras aren't rolling.
He really doesn't have to worry about them catching on, though. More Trumpets believe NASA kidnaps kids for colonizing Mars than believe the Russians did anything to sway an election.
Not that they mind if they did. A little Russian meddling is a small price to make America Great Again!
It's far more likely NASA is kidnapping kids. The government you know.
NASA actually had to put out a press release denying the conspiracy theory. They didn't need another nut with a semi-automatic showing up like at Hillary's sex slave pizza joint.
We also learned this week that a good number of Trumpets mistook NPR's tweeting of the entire Declaration of Independence for attacks on their fearful leader. There's not a lick of sense to be found on Twitter and NPR found out the hard way.
Trumpets love tweets. Tweets are for people who think bumper stickers are deep but are too lazy to drive. Twitter is the perfect platform for people who have zero self awareness and don't mind showing it.
And Donald Trump is the master Twitter benefactor. A guy who thinks in soundbites and stock phrases and whose core supporters won't digest anything bigger. It's a platform of delusion for the willfully deluded.
The willfully deluded don't want freedom. They want to be led to a fantasy world. Independent and free people generally aren't delusional. They prefer reality to fantasy. And they'd certainly recognize their country's founding document.
Trumpets think it's the Art of the Deal.
But today the reality is a trained KGB assassin is sitting down with a draft-deferred old man of questionable faculty. It's likely that old man owes his current office to the guy across the table. It's also likely the KGB guy has lots of dirt on the occupant of our Oval Office.
The deal was made a long time ago. The question is will the DOTUS (Donald of the United States), live up to his end of the deal. Given his history, that question is certainly in play.
I suppose the question is what dirt does Putin have on Trump and is it really any worse than all the terrible stuff we know about the guy already. Unless you're a Trumpet, you've probably noticed he's not a saint.