It's Christmas Eve eve. Got that shopping done yet?
I'm usually a last minute shopping guy. It's not procrastination, I'm just a cheapskate.
For once I have most of mine done. There are a couple gifts I can't find. They will take some higher level help.
I've got an old pal who fits. I've known him about all my life, but hardly ever see him anymore. It's been nearly 10 years since last. We ran into him in Key West and shared rum and cigars. We follow each other's tweets and he texts me the occasional joke.
He says he owes me for a tech tip from back in the 80s. It wasn't a big deal, really, but he said anytime I needed anything just call. Every now and then he reminds me.
He's an important guy. I haven't talked to him during the holidays in decades. Honestly, I haven't really needed to take him up on his promise.
But this year is kinda different. If a year qualifies, this one might be it. I decided to call in the favor. Except technically I texted it in.
"Santa, I need to ask a favor."
I didn't expect an immediate reply. It's Christmas Eve eve, remember? I pulled out a roll of happy snowman paper and started wrapping my grand-daughter's presents.
Five minutes later, my cell rang. I answered it.
"Is this Kringle or Claus?"
"HoHoHo HoHoHo yadayadayada! It's Santa wise guy. How's the hernia repairman today?"
"Who told you?"
"What part of 'he sees you when you're sleeping' don't you understand?"
"O yeah. Right. I'm ready to get these staples out. All better in two or three more weeks."
"Good. Jolly well good. That's the spirit!"
"I guess you're getting the old sled loaded up, aren't you? Think you've got room for a couple more things?"
"Oh SJ, how old school you are! We hardly put anything in the sled anymore, mostly for appearance and to let NORAD play Follow that Claus.
It's about all drones now SJ. We had to. People shoot at anything out there! Flying reindeer used to amaze people. Now we're just target practice for every yahoo with a gun. Let me tell you, there are a lot of yahoos with guns in the world today. And did you know reindeer jerky is a thing? It's a thing SJ, ask your next door neighbor. Where do you get reindeer in Kentucky?"
"I think Meat goes to Canada or Maine or...," I mumbled.
"Well, for that and other reasons, I've been delivering with drones for over a decade. Heck, it all started with your little tip way back when."
"But drones? Isn't that kind of, I don't know...dark side? A little Darth Vader?"
"HoHoHO! Don't be silly SJ, there's no such thing as Darth Vader! Listen to Santa, I'm keeping the world safe from Amazon. You definitely don't want them delivering with drones."
"I hadn't thought of that."
"Obviously. So what's that favor you need?"
I told Santa what i needed and for who. He chuckled and said if that's all I needed he was getting off cheap. I said in that case I'll think a little more about it.
It's only Christmas Eve eve, after all.