Another day, another morning Meat comes barging in my front door. Yesterday's visit was to remind me I was another year older and deeper in debt.
As if I wouldn't remember my own birthday. Facebook's been reminding me for a week.
"Well what did your astrologer friend have to say this year. Last year she predicted you'd register Democrat and she hit it right on the button."
That she did. After 35 years registered independent, I rejoined the Democratic party. Unfortunately, she didn't tell me I'd do it one day too late to be able to vote for Bernie in the primary.
"It's a sad thing. Madame Celeste L. Stardazed is officially out of the astrology business. She told me she couldn't go on after a bunch of phony astronomers changed the whole zodiac."
"So you didn't get your yearly personal horoscope?"
"Well, yeah, she said she'd do it just for me. She still takes credit cards."
Tater walked in the door at this point in the conversation. She was moving kind of slow and had a pained expression.
"Morning Tater, you okay?"
"She's had a headache since the debate. She was trying to fact check the thing in real time and I think she broke something," Meat joked.
"Just wanted to happy birthday you SJ," she croaked. "I'm going back to bed now."
She turned right around and walked back out the door. With every couple steps, she'd turn and look behind her. Meat waited for her to clear the front yard before he whispered.
"I'm worried about her SJ. She's been in bed with the covers pulled over her head all week. She said she's hiding from the orange creeper."
That explains why there has been no clown sightings this week. At least on the local front.
It also reflects most people's feeling about this presidential election from the Twilight Zone. We've all got an ache and if hiding our heads will make it go away please save a hole in the ground for mine.
What's that you ask? The Twilight Zone?
The Twilight Zone was a TV show. A brilliant and often creepy TV show introduced the year I was born.
Of course, it's the wrong show. The correct allusion is the presidential election from Naked and Afraid. There's no brilliance and the creepiness has morphed into appalling. It's staged, it's over-produced, and its connection to reality is nil.
There really was more reality in the Twilight Zone.
By the way, my young friends, that Twilight Zone reference is something old white guys would probably use. I hope that's one of the few strings you'll find to tie me to that particular stereotype.