It will come as a surprise to many of you that the Donald and I have something in common. Besides outstanding hair, of course.
Turns out we are both financial supporters of the Clinton Foundation. I'm not saying we donated equal amounts to the foundation, but I'm sure we gave for the same reason--to fight the spread of AIDS in Africa.
No, I'm kidding. We gave to the Clinton Foundation to get face time with Secretary of State Hillary of course! Believe me when I tell you, I made the most out of my time in front of Hillary. No doubt, my generous gift will yield massive dividends once she's President Hillary.
Under-secretary of Appalachian American Affairs SJ sounds pretty good, doesn't it? You heard it here first.
I have a feeling Donald's face time didn't go as well as mine. I suppose it's possible that Hillary didn't have time for someone with Russian mob ties. Maybe he invited her onto "The Apprentice" and she turned him down. Whatever it was, he obviously didn't take it well.
In reality TV world, that's as good a reason to run for president as anything else. Probably not a bad idea if most of the Republican base's grasp on the real world comes from cable TV. Funny how Donald had that figured out and the Republican establishment didn't.
It is a little bit odd how Trump is calling on the Justice Department to investigate a charitable foundation he donated money to. Do you think he forgot that he donated to them?
Of course not. This could be a political ninja move, if the candidate were a politician or a ninja.
Could that be why he won't release his tax returns? Is he hiding donations to Bill and Hillary to help Haiti earthquake victims? That probably wouldn't go over well with the Trumpets.
You can say what you want about Trump, and I generally do with gusto, but he sure knows his constituents. He knows they're a forgiving lot. They'll oversee several foreign wives; they'll oversee several business bankruptcies; they'll overlook insulting Gold Star families; they'll even overlook sketchy ties with the Kremlin.
But what they will never, ever, for any reason, forgive is a financial contribution to anything Clinton. He knows that clearly. Don't release the tax returns that prove it, at least not before the election. You don't want to lose the Oval Office from a charitable deduction line.
And you know the Donald deducts all of his charitable contributions. Don't you?
After 25 years of Fox News, created primarily to discredit all things Bill, the only value that seems to really count to the Republican club today is no more Clinton. Spend a half hour in any diner in Pike county and you'll hear it. It's called brainwashing and it has worked very well.
How ironic it would be if their 2016 candidate loses because he tried to buy Clinton favors and couldn't. The art of the deal, indeed.