Today's reasoned perspective comes from a TSA line at the Lexington Airport. I'm thinking about flying somewhere this summer and I don't want to take a chance on missing my flight.
Standing in line is a great way to get to wondering about stuff. You've got time to kill, might as well wonder. Speaking of, wonder how long I'll be standing in this line?
Hearing that I'm in a big city airport, I know what some of you might be wondering. The answer is yes, I did use the public facility. No, I did not see anything out of the ordinary. I got in, took care of business and got out.
There might have been a transexual, a Transylvanian, and a Tyranosaurus Rex in there, but I didn't notice because I wasn't looking. If you're looking, maybe it's you we should be wondering about.
I've just got to wonder what some people are so afraid of. No matter what, there's got to be a boogie man somewhere. Sometimes I wonder if fear is more addicting than oxycontin.
Ever wondered what happens when you combine fear and oxycontin? Some might suggest it's West Virginia considering the recent revelation of millions of pills coming into that state from a couple of the largest pharmaceutical distributors in the country. Of course, our friends across the Tug are not alone, all the Big Sandy watershed qualifies for that punchline.
You've got to wonder how a great big distributor can make billions on the backs of hillbillies legally when your cousin is doing time for making a couple hundred selling weed. Most likely your cousin isn't incorporated would be my guess. If he'd only had a corporate attorney.
Of course, one wouldn't be a wonderer if one didn't wonder how in the world Matt Bevin got elected to anything. I know most of you wonder about this too. I know the answer but I won't reveal it because I don't want to hinder your wonder.
But I do wonder if you've noticed someting about our governor. There used to be a show on MTV called Jackass in which idiots did stupid things on video. Of course, it was a hit for a week or two. The resemblence between our governor and the former host of Jackass, Johnny Knoxville, is uncanny.
I don't want to start any rumors, but that Knoxville guy has pretty much been off the radar for the last year. Ever wonder why? Well wonder no more.
We've been punked. You, me and all the rest of the residents of the Commonwealth are all part of an elaborate reality TV show. Somewhere Rupert Murdoch and Ashton Kutcher are laughing in their beers. Wonder what the next prank is?
Just a second friends, with all this wondering, I've somehow reached the front of the line. An agent is asking for an ID. I handed him my driver's license.
"Sorry sir, we can no longer take the Kentucky license. The governor vetoed the upgrade to national standards. I'm afraid you'll need a passport to fly outside the state."
So that's it. I wonder how much longer I'll be in this line.