It seems like a great time to share a bit of Shakespeare. In particular, Act 2, Scene 7 from the Merchant of Venice.
If you're behind on this week's assignment, here's the Cliff Notes version of the scene. One of the rich heiress Portia's suitors, the Prince of Morocco, is given the opportunity to win her hand. All he has to do is pick the box that contains her picture from three different boxes.
One is made of lead, one silver and one is gold.
The prince chooses the gold box. But instead of her picture, the box contains a scroll. He reads the words.
"All that glisters is not gold—Often have you heard that told.
Many a man his life hath sold But my outside to behold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold. Had you been as wise as bold,
Young in limbs, in judgment old, Your answer had not been inscrolled
Fare you well. Your suit is cold—"
First, yes, the word is glisters. Turns out Shakespeare probably stole it from poet John Florio and the idea from Chaucer. Glister morphed into glitter a hundred or so years later.
Class over. There will be a test.
It seemed like a great time to remind us of the glittering gold parable with all the plating going on in our country. The truth is, calfs aren't the only thing that really shouldn't be given the gold sheen.
Toilets, White House walls and statues of sitting presidents are other things that shouldn't be electroplated. Taking your morning constitutional on a gold plated throne does not make you a king. Faux-gold accents on the walls bring exactly zero class to a building if you've made it a backdrop for wrestling matches. And reality tv preachers blessing your gold plated statue sure doesn't make you the savior, either.
What he deposits in the golden toilet is at the heart of all of his electroplated projects. And there's one more coming.
DonJohn has proposed the "Golden Dome", a space defense system to protect America from missile attacks and illegal aliens. Recent congressional budget office estimates show the scheme will cost 1.2 trillion dollars over the next ten years. That's a lot of money for something guaranteed not to work.
While most believe Golden Dome is a symbolic reference to the defense system's effect, it is actually a reference to what Elon Musk will be building over his South African province with that 1.2 trillion dollars we'll pay him to protect us from his rockets. And his cousins.
Maybe we'd do better to remember the things that should be golden, like rings and bullion and anniversaries, and pay no attention to those glittery gold plated geegaws the anti-Midas attempts to dazzle us with. Not one single thing he's touched has turned to gold. He can't even see his golden tan is orange.
All that glitters is not gold. And all that is gold does not glitter. The riches weren't in the gold box nor the silver box. Those brought sorrow and death. The riches in Merchant of Venice were wrapped in lead.