Dateline April Third, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA. This is your trusty foreign correspondent Lirpa Loof reporting from the final destination for thousands of zealots on their annual pilgrimage to hoops heaven.
In a little over 24 hours, adherents of this year's four top denominations of roundball proselytes will chant and cheer, recant and rejoice in the pageant that determines which is anointed the most holy of holies, the Messiah of the Madness. Until next year.
It's a ritual as old as time if time started in 1939. That's probably older than most of you, so you get the point. Contrary to logic, Kentucky did not win or even play in the first NCAA tournament. But we did win the 10th, 11th, 13th, 20th, 40th, 58th, 60th, and 74th. Beside the UCLA ride of Saint Wooden, no congregation has been more anointed than BBN. Not Carolina or Duke. Not Kansas or Indiana.
So the righteousness is strong in Wildcat nation as well it should be. We are enraptured in the exquisite glory of a perfect season and we are confident that once again this is our time.
We believe.
As do the acolytes of those other faiths.
The Sparties of Michigan State believe. You know you've got cousins there. The Wisconsin Badgers who stand directly before us believe. They are faithful devotees and true. Even those who will not be named believe in their own shade of blue evil.
It's a huge gathering of believers. Many denominations, many faiths.
One wonders just how you could mess that up. Then Indiana steps up.
This year's host state has reaffirmed religious freedom so all these gathering pilgrims can hoot and holler to their hearts content. As long as they can't hear each other.
The 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution wasn't quite doing it for Indiana's ruling party, so they made it better for bigots and folk who can quote the Old Testament but somehow missed Mathew 7:1-3 ("Judge not, that ye not be judged..."). You've got freedom to believe and if someone doesn't believe what you do then your freedom is violated. If you want it to be.
This can be problematic at a gathering of four different sets of four different belief systems, couldn't it?
When I was a kid, they taught us that's what America is. A melting pot. Different people, different religions, different beliefs. A pluralistic society was our strength. When did that change?
But clearly the law as signed by the governor has caused unintended side effects such as uncontrollable back pedaling. By the time you read this, someone might have back pedaled clear to Mouthcard.
You know Hoosiers are hillbillies whose cars broke down on the way to Detroit, right?
Luckily basketball fans, we're quickly learning that get out the vote morals bend to economic pressure every time. That's a good thing. It'd be a shame if Indianapolis never saw another multitude of faith like it's seeing this weekend.
It's the Final Four. It's when crazies and the born again come from all over the country to believe in something. I know what I'd be believing in if I was there. I know what I'll be believing in when I watch that screen.
This is Lirpa Loof, your trusty foreign correspondent reminding you once again, Go Big Blue!