Like most real Americans, I was glued to my TV last Tuesday night around 9 o'clock. And like most of you, I was focused on the state of the union...
between the two platoons of Kentucky basketball.
In a quite unfortunate scheduling mistake, some fool decided the same time would be good for the president to talk to both houses of congress and a few supreme court members. Obviously, the person responsible for such bad timing is not a product of the University of Kentucky, or even Vanderbilt for that matter.
Luckily for you, some of the junior staff and my next door neighbor watched the president while I focused on what's important. You'll be glad to know, the state of the basketball is strong in Kentucky. Stronger than the state of the state, that's for sure.
As for the state of the union, it depends on who you ask. The staff says the president (Obama for those of you still in denial) was in fine form, making his case for a country that has turned a page. I'm hoping the page that was turned didn't say "The End", but I digress.
It's hard to argue with falling unemployment rates, rising stock market, and reduced national deficit as good signs we're on the right road. But that never stops the party of No from trying. The Republicans are so desperate to convince the American public that everything sucks that they trotted out about seventeen individual "rebuttals". There are a lot of Republican butts in congress, so hardly surprising.
It's interesting, though, that the party that is known for a certain lock-stepped synchronicity is suddenly trotting out so many voices. They used to speak in one voice, but now...you got Senator Poodle and Senator McTurtle and Senator Breadbags and Senator Cubo-Canadian, all jockeying for position to get their points out there.
Senator Cubo-Canadian was so eager to get his thoughts out there, he actually posted a non-edited video on YouTube, then pulled it when someone noticed he quit and restarted in the middle. It's hard to keep up with Cruz, but who really can keep up with an illegal immigrant in Texas? The good ones get jobs, the iffy ones get elected to the senate.
According to the R's, the last thing we need is healthcare and decent wages in this country. What we really need, more than anything else, is a pipeline. And when I say WE, who I'm really talking about is the Koch family. And aren't we all the Kochs? If we aren't, surely we have much in common...you inherited a few billion from your John Birch Society founding father, right? And I know you've never worked a day in your life, like Charles and David Koch...can I get an amen?
My neighbor Meat had some interesting insight on the whole thing. Let me be straight about it, Meat hates Obama.
"Did he say anything you liked," I asked.
"He said he had no more campaigns to run. Even Republican applauded."
"That's great," I said. " What did he say after that?"
Meat got a sick look on his face and looked away. "I don't want to talk about it."
Not sure what he meant, but I do know this. I got everything I needed from the events. I won both of them!