There's a line every journalist is holding in their pocket for just the right time. Get ready, here it comes.
You read it here first.
Granted, I'm not a journalist, I just play one on Fridays. But a good actor knows their lines and you read it here first is right there in the script.
Astute readers will remember in the January 12 issue of the ANE we reviewed the great job market and encouraged the go-getters out there to go get some of those high profile jobs on the horizon.
We noted several openings from football coach to state representative to weinermobile chauffeur. Among them, a rumbling possibility. Here's the guilty paragraph:
There could be a mayor job opening up somewhere in Pike county before long. The pay isn't too high but they say the dividends make up for it.
So Russ, do I get a plaque for this or what?
Because as many of you probably know, Elkhorn's long sitting mayor resigned last week in the middle of a scandal that threatens the town's very existence.
Elkhorn City has been going backward since 2011. The litany of self-inflicted wounds by the mayor, the council and the chief of police are endless. We've run off tourists, we've run off business, we've squandered money and we've turned down opportunities to pull our town forward.
The current situation was inevitable. Running things well requires competency and we have none. When you combine an incompetent mayor with an incompetent council you get a dying town every time.
So while you might think I'd be celebrating this news, I'm not. I feel bad for Mike. He's a good person in a bad place. And he's not solely responsible.
I'm not sure anybody's breaking the door down to become mayor of Elkhorn. Hard to believe, huh? It's a thankless job where you get phone calls at all hours because somebody's running a sprinkler at 4 oclock in the morning
The upside for any prospective mayor is at least the town's wet. Alcohol tax revenue can be spent wherever a town likes. And if the chief of police ever gets enough GI Joe black ops equipment, maybe you can spend some of it.
But a town like Elkhorn makes the real alcohol tax money on tourists. Since we've run most of them off, we're going to have to double work to lure them back.
Before anyone gets any bad bright ideas, the answer is no. I did my elected duty back in the 90s when (and I can't believe I'm saying this) people had more sense. You can't even convince these idiots today to get their kids measles shots.
I have my own favorites for potential mayors. I can think of a couple of forward thinking people who have a chance. They've even got plenty of time on their hands these days. I could name names, but what one of them became mayor?
The one thing I've learned as a pretend journalist is pretty simple. You read it here first is only effective when it's not overused.