Last week's column recognized the big winners in the midterms, so shouldn't we call out those on the short end this week? Can you say MAGAGA yes?
You almost have to feel sorry for the Grand Old Party. They were downright giddy going into last week's election with visions of a red wave overtaking the legislature, the senate, several governor's mansions and especially state Attorney General's offices where election denying mail order lawyers could fix every election moving forward and a few in the rear view mirror.
Especially that one in 2020.
But a funny thing happened when the vote counts came in. That red wave turned out to be decisively purple and nearly every election denying candidate for offices that actually matter went down in a blaze of...dare I say glory?
I do dare. The arsonists known as election deniers have tried to torch some of America's most cherished institutions. Instead, they've managed to burn their own party nearly to the ground.
One can hardly wait to hear what J.D. Vance, the pretend hillbilly in Ohio and one of the very few Trump endorsed candidates to win, has to say about his place in the election. Will he continue to hold the torch for Commander Bonespurs or will he go back to being just a millionaire hedge fund manager with a bic lighter.
The fire is still smoldering, but the blaze has died down.
The job isn't quite finished. You can't trust a bunch of common losers with such a great responsibility of torching democracy and a major political party. If you want those institutions and parties to be ashes, there's only one person to turn to.
The uber loser. The commandant of con. The fuhrer of fraud. The Donald of Denial.
If you want something FUBARed, who better to turn to than the guy who was impeached twice, tweeted top secret intelligence, bankrupted a dozen companies including a casino, cheated on 3 wives and counting, was sued for sexual harrassment, paid off several affair partners, been indicted for tax fraud, and incited an attack on the U.S. Capital.
To the pleasure of almost no one not named Biden, Trump has once again thrown his bag of flaming poo into the ring. And to emphasize his commitment, he's come up with a slogan that is even more splendid than the last one. Some might call it magnificent.
The good part is, he barely even has to alter his famous American made Chinese hats. Sorry, I meant Chinese made American hats. Not only will he make America great again, it'll be glorious.
Just like the blaze of glory he and his fellow losers are going down in.
Trump promises to make America great AND glorious again. It does roll off the tongue a little better than make America great again again. But the most clever thing is you only have to add an AG to the middle of MAGA and you've got another term straight out of one of his late night tweets. Who needs MAGA when you can MAGAGA?
See? It's two whole letters better.