Anyone out there know a good attorney? If you do, ask if they'd like an all expense-comped workation to Mar-a-Lago.
Yes legal eagles, this could be your day to put those silly aviator shaded ambulance chase commercials behind you and step into the exalted world of ex-presidential representation. Just think, you could be the first holder of a juris doctor degree (preferred) to proudly say "Not Guilty your honor" in a courtroom for a one time leader of the free world.
Don't have a JD? Well don't let that stop you. Nothing says you have to actually go to law school to practice law, you just have to pass the bar exam. There's plenty of time to bone up on your constitutional law and take the test. It's multiple guess, how hard can it really be?
It's not like you have to know your stuff, anyway. Your client is a stable genius who has every answer you'll need in the courtroom. Really, all you have to do is be there to sign paperwork and say what he whispers in your ear.
This misplaced help wanted ad may not be newspaper accurate, but it's more reliable than Fox News. The Trump team is having trouble finding reliable legal help as the camel strains under more and more straw daily. The camel is still standing but the attorneys are ducking for cover left and right.
Trump's closest advisors knew they were in trouble when Rudy Guiliani sobered up enough to realize he was Trump's attorney, then fell off the wagon celebrating his law license had been suspended. There will be no courtroom dripping hair dye photos of Rudy. He suggested rehiring Micheal Cohen and running with the extortion theory.
Rumors around Elkhorn have one of our newest and more notorious citizens, Larry Webster, coming out of retirement to join Trump's legal team. But even though Red Dog is still in constant danger of cancellation, 2022 Republicans and anyone who's heard his coal mining songs know he's a RINO.
As a matter of fact, he told me he's not going to Florida because he's done enough pro bono cases and he'd rather stay in Elkhorn to watch Mike and Gypsy (whatever that means).
It could be that the Trump is having trouble getting high end legal representation because nobody with a legal reputation wants to take on a guy who encouraged a mob to attack the capital and carried top nuclear and intelligence secrets with him to show around his resort. Or it could be that none of them want to work for free for a guy who claimed to be a billionaire his whole life then became one once he got in the White House.
The real truth is most of the great legal minds in America are in eastern Kentucky to help a couple thousand of your friends and neighbors take on FEMA, a massive government agency created to help Americans but overhauled and put into the Homeland Security Administration under the GW Bush administration.
Further illustrating the old adage, Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, then they get elected and prove it.