Being what comes natural to one of the people, as recognized by the supremes, Hobby Lobby one day passed away and found him/her/itself at the Pearly Gates. They were closed, as comes natural to gates and the places that come with them.
"What am I, the party of the first part, doing here?" asked Hobby Lobby, "What happened?"
"Looks like you croaked" said the man with a large golden key tied to a similarly golden chord around his waste. It didn't seem to weigh him down much, as he was floating like you'd expect from an angel named Peter.
He eyed Hobby Lobby with the glint of a man who'd seen it all. Until now. He stared at something different. He wore no outward expression but his pupils were tiny pinpoints of curiosity. St. Peter was puzzled.
"What do you mean I, the party of the first part, croaked? This is the 21st century, corporations don't croak!"
"Of course they don't croak," cried St. Peter, "only people and frogs croak! You, on the other hand, went insolvent. Out of business. Bankrupt. Caput. Pushing up daisies and empty cracker boxes. You've sold your last doily pattern. You're not worth the paper your creator printed you out on. Your few remaining assets were acquired by the Chinese. So...what do you have to say for yourself?"
Hobby Lobby shuddered at the question, then straightened a bit. "Say for yourself? What? We, the party of the first part, have nothing to say. We're a business, what are we doing here?"
St. Peter snickered at the question. "What are you doing here? Ha ha! That's the twenty four thousand dollar question buckaroo! That's exactly what I asked the boss. What is going on down there? What idiot confuses a corporation with a person? And you know what he said...do you want to know? He said, 'Heck if I know' THAT'S what he said! And we don't hear that much, let me tell you!"
"But you guys decided a corporation...a piece of paper...is a person and can have a religion. Five guys said so in your highest court. I shouldn't need to remind you those guys are like family up here. They do call me SAINT Peter you know."
Hobby Lobby stammered a bit. "Well...I...I mean...we...um...the party of the first part, is a simple fiduciary instrument to protect the business owners from any real consequences when they...I mean...we, the party of the first part, when...you know...when mistakes happen."
Relief washed over St. Peter's brow and the light came like it always did when he was stumped every millenium or so. He smiled. "Of course, Hobby Lobby, that is what you are. All you are. There is no reason to fear your judgement day."
Hobby Lobby stood on it's edge and squealed..."Yaaahoooo, I'm going to heaven!!!"
St. Peter quickly grabbed Hobby Lobby by it's stapled corner. "O, you misunderstand Hobby Lobby. You need a soul to enter these gates." He pulled a golden zippo from a deep pocket and lit it under the pages.
"That's it? It's over for the party of the first part?" whimpered Hobby Lobby.
"Don't worry, your memory will live on in the owners you protected," St. Peter whispered as the pages caught the flame. "You won't be forgotten when they come see me either."
With that, he pockets the golden zippo and pulls a golden needle out. He holds the needles eye up to his own saying, "here camel, camel, camel..."