The truth is, everybody's got problems. Nobody wants to hear about it.
That's what Meat said right before he picked me up in a bear hug.
I just told the neighbors what I've been trying to let them know for a while. It wasn't an easy conversation to have. Between my schedule and their galavanting, it took a couple of weeks to talk and this needed to be delivered in person. I guess now I can tell you.
I have cancer.
Well that was the hardest sentence I've ever had to write. But there it is, I guess it's official. Someplace in print other than medical forms.
The prognosis is good. It appears to be confined to one place and is a type with a very high survival rate. Just the location complicates things.
I have a tumor in my throat. It's kind of laying on my voice box and crowding my esophagus. It's in a place where they don't want to cut unless it blocks the windpipe. So it'll be all chemo and radiation to get rid of it.
The thing about this kind of news is you've got to figure out who gets the news first and at what point. By you there I of course mean me. Figuring out who I would tell was an odd exercise. It's all been a real learning experience.
Here's a fun fact for you. If you are going to get radiation treatments on your throat, the first order of business is to pull all your teeth.
Did you know that? I sure didn't. It seems radiation leaves bone unable to deal with infection which could lead to jaw loss.
You know what they say, eating without teeth is hard but eating without a jaw is harder. They say that, right?
When Meat heard this part he said it would be great to have a necklace made of my old teeth to use as a conversation starter. Tater was not amused by that.
"A conversation stopper you sick freak!"
What Meat and Tater know, but you might not is no one ever accused me of having a beautiful smile. As a person who's had bad teeth since his permanent teeth came in, the idea of a mouth full of straight teeth has an appeal even if they aren't real. It's hard to get my head around none of my own, though, no matter how crooked and broken they are...were.
But it's not like I have a choice. Once the treatments are done, I'll get fitted for dentures. I'll be without teeth until then.
You know what that means? I'll probably lose the twenty pounds around the middle I've been needing to get rid of. So that's good.
Can I find any more silver linings to having cancer?
Of course not. No matter how good the prognosis is, you just don't know. I've gotten on a ride I can't get off of with a destination that may or may not be the one anyone is hoping for.
It's scary but I'm not worried. I have faith that with the support of family and friends and the spirits blessings, I'll be a cancer survivor like so many before me.