It's Christmas time in America. There's no room at the Inn.
The people who swear we're a Christian nation would have Jesus, Maria and Jose stay on their side of the border where they belong. Those refugees would poison our blood says their orange prophet.
Just like all those generations of refugees and immigrants and slaves from Europe and Asia and Africa were going to poison our blood and bring crime and disease according to the scoundrels of the days over the last 250 years.
The problems at our border could be solved but border problems are a great political hammer for Republicans so they're in no hurry. Likewise, If our foreign policy apparatus paid half as much attention to South and Central America as it does to eastern Europe and the middle East, there'd be far fewer refugees seeking asylum from those regions.
As Jesus said, why solve problems when you can use them as swords. What's that? Don't tell me those words aren't in your red letter edition. You CHINOs (Christians in Name Only) probably don't have the King Donald edition.
With that in mind and in the spirit of the season, I want to give a special present to some special people who've gone below and down deep in taking America backward. Lumps of coal to each.
I always thought lumps weren't such a bad thing in your stocking since it could be used to ward off the cold. So we've carbon sequestered these lumps to make them truly useless.
It's odd pro-life equates to death to pregnant women and children swimming across the Rio Grande. You'd think the living among us would count for something in the holidays. But that's just afterbirth to Texas governor Greg Abbott and his comrades. We're sending his lump via Pony Express.
After months of holding back military promotions on a one man crusade to show just how petty and tone deaf one person can be, Senator Tommy Tuberville claimed victory after the rest of the senate broke through his blockade and granted promotions to hundreds of high level officers filling vacancies that threatened the chains of command in all 4 major services.
"My goal was to undertake Ted Cruz as the least liked senator in our conference," said Tuberville, "and thanks to the Lord I did it." We hope Tommy loves his lump from Seal Team 6.
Presidential siblings and offspring have had high entertainment value throughout our history. But almost none of them have managed to get themselves indicted on state and federal tax, gun and drug charges while their father or brother was occupying the oval office.
Uncle Joe has little Hunter dragging on his coat strings. You can say what you will about the Trump lineage, none of them had to post bail while daddy was collecting documents. Hunter has somehow managed to outcreep both Junior and his brother-in-law Jarrod. And for that feat of bottom feeding, Hunter Biden gets one lump of coal delivered to his love shack in Ukraine or a prison cell, whichever is closer.
May your Christmas and holidays be full of hope and good will. And if you get lumps in your stockings, may they at least bring you warmth.