I called my neighbor Meat a while ago and invited him to bring a gun over for some fishing, but he declined. He's scared that if he comes out of his house, Obama's going to make him get gay married.
So many big things happened in the last week, writing about it is like shooting fish in a barrel. I've got a barrel full of carp and my trusty Daisy BB gun right here. Since Meat declined, it's just you and me.
The Supreme Court made it a bad week for conservatives by upholding the Fair Housing Act, affirming that more people with health insurance is preferable to fewer people, and declaring that yes, every individual has a right to enter a contractual lifetime agreement with the person they love.
The majority agreed that marriage, across time, has been a contract, not a purely sacred construct.
Because several Christian denominations were actually for same-sex marriage, one might be amazed they're all reading the same Bible. A fundamentalist book case only holds one book so maybe those liberal Christians just have a different carpenter.
I say if you're going to live your life based on one book, Green Eggs and Ham will never steer you wrong.
But Christian conservatives aren't going down easy. Some county clerks in Kentucky and other places have decided the world would be better without marriage at all in order to stop same-sex marriage. Can that be ironic if they don't do irony?
In a blind taste test, many American fundamentalists tend to prefer Sharia Law to separation of church and state until someone reveals Sharia is an Allah thing.
Speaking of Allah things, the Muslim in Chief blew a lot of minds by singing Amazing Grace during his eulogy for South Carolina State Senator Clementa Pinckney. Most clear headed Americans were genuinely touched, although the Nugent/Palin faction was livid. Maybe they should just abstain.
Back to the Supremes, the court ruled that a drug no one has heard of and no one can buy is just fine to be used in state sanctioned killing. I'm pretty sure that made all those without sin happy.
One ruling that flew under the radar may have a bigger impact than any mentioned. The court upheld a ballot initiative in Arizona that creates an independent redistricting commission outside the state legislature. Arizona Republicans sued claiming they have a divine right to fix any district they want. Neither party is innocent in gerrymandering districts so this ruling should encourage other states to take those decisions out of party control. That could end partisan gerrymandering as we know it. In my book (Green Eggs and Ham), anything to take elections out of party control is a good thing. Ask George Washington.
Finally, many in the coal industry celebrated the ruling that the EPA didn't follow proper procedures in creating new mercury control regulations. Unfortunately, this came long after most coal fired power plants had adjusted to the new rules adding scrubbers, shutting down or switching to gas. Nor does it do anything to replenish local coal reserves.
It also means I won't be eating any of the fish I just shot. How bout some ice cream...rainbow sherbet anyone?