Just when I thought it was safe to sit in an ice filled washtub and watch the complete Dukes of Hazzard Netflix collection there was a loud banging on my front door.
I punched the pause button and yelled, "Who is it?"
The door flew open and my next door neighbor Meat came rolling through. "Who do you think crackpot?"
He pulled up a couch and dropped last Friday's paper in front of me.
"What is your problem?" he demanded. "You're against everything!"
"Wait a minute Meat, where'd you get that idea?"
He opened the paper and pointed to the picture of a good looking guy above this column.
"Is that you?"
"Well, I guess...but.."
"That's what I thought, last week you're against naming highways, against cutting off freeloaders, and against friends of coal. This week you're against airports and Nashville. What is wrong with you?"
I thought about that for a few seconds. "Well, right now I'm just trying to cool down."
Without skipping a beat he shot back, "I guess you're against hot weather, too. Is there anything you're for?"
"I'm for a lot of things, Meat. Right now air conditioning and dead bolts would be at the top of the list."
A faint smile darted across Meat's lips, but he caught himself and scowled.
"Be serious! Name one thing you're for."
"Elk, Meat, I'm for elk. There's a shiny new one down at the intersection and pretty soon there's going to be more around town. I think it's great that Roger got it going and that local businesses jumped on the bandwagon. Anything we can do to dress up Elkhorn is a good thing."
Meat looked surprised. But that passed pretty quickly.
"No, that doesn't count. You used to get paid for promoting Elkhorn. Bet you can't name anything in Pikeville you're for. You hate Pikeville."
"No I don't. And weren't you worried about them taking over?"
Meat sighed. "Don't change the subject."
At that I lost it and went on a bit of a rant. Here's a family friendly synopsis.
Many outside Pikeville are jealous, maybe including me. But you have to admire the way the town keeps its eyes on the prize. Heck, they're so aggressive they have two tourism units. Sometimes they fall on their face, but that's what comes with risk. Most of the time they don't.
I love UPike and the Medical Center, resources we're blessed to have. Pikeville may call itself the energy capital, but it has the most diversified economy in the region. It combined resources with progressive leadership to ensure it doesn't fade, like other towns surely will. Who wouldn't admire that? I sure wish we (those of us who aren't in Pikeville) had a bit more of that kind of leadership.
Anyway, when I finished the rant, Meat looked shocked. "But...you're against coal. I bet you hate everybody that has anything to do with it."
"My mom was a coal miner and my dad was an operator. Do you really think I hate them?"
"Hmmmph, I guarantee you can't name anyone else."
"All I can say is a coal operator did more to pull the county forward than anybody in my lifetime. He went to bat for us when he was governor more times than I can count. I'd vote for Paul Patton no matter what he was running for."
I guess that sucked all the wind right out of him. He quietly got up and left, leaving me sitting in a tub of melted ice.