There were a lot of bargains to be had last week. Just most of them weren't available on Amazon.
Some lucky individual picked up the largest piece of Mars ever found on Earth for the rock bottom price of $5,300,000. That might sound excessive, but it's chump change compared to what it'd cost to go pick one up. Never mind this one was found laying in the Sahara. It comes with papers, so the alien is legit.
I'd like to imagine maybe Jeff Bezos bought it as a gift for Elon Musk. It'll come with a nice hand written note that says, "Here El, I just saved you one hundred forty two billion. They need you at home in South Africa."
Wouldn't that be just precious!
Believe it or not, at the very same sale you could pick up a complete dinosaur skeleton measuring 11 feet long and 6 feet tall. It was not purchased by a Cabella's outlet. Although not quite as rare on this planet as fifty pounds of Martian rock, the juvenile Ceratosaurus bones went for over thirty million dollars after a fierce bidding war.
I don't know about you, but I didn't get an alert for that sale. Not one single email is pretty disappointing. I could have used a dinosaur skeleton.
Since I don't have one, I couldn't help but notice something. No one has released the Epstein files and the convicted felon in the White House just fired the prosecutor who convicted Epstein. Since irony doesn't exist anymore, knowing the fired prosecutor is the daughter of the guy basically responsible for the first Trump presidential term is irrelevant.
The fact he's panicking, attacking his supporters, and firing anyone connected to the Epstein case he can find spells out in all caps: YES I AM IN THERE. In a way, it's kind of too bad, sad even.
Not that Don John is twisting and kicking and spazzing out, that's pretty fun to see and not sad at all.
I've always thought it likely the whole Epstein files thing is a red herring. Something easily used to bash Democrats over the heads because it didn't really exist and they couldn't release what didn't exist. Of course Republicans claimed if elected they'd release it. That's clickbait for conservatives.
So DonJohn getting roasted by his base for something that never existed is the irony I live for. But we just said irony's dead, so I guess I could live with him getting roasted for just being a low life instead. It would be reassuring to know there was something too much for even MAGA.
Just remember, all those conscientious Republicans once clamoring for release of the files just voted to block that release. You can bet they know exactly what's in those files.
You've gotta wonder what they think they're protecting. It sure isn't the document every single one of them took an oath to uphold and protect.
O yeah, it's all the folks who've bought and paid for them. Talk about bargains. A few of them were worth a Martian rock, but none of them were worth a dinosaur.