The line at the fall festival kissing booth just got a lot shorter. Must be Putin's Puppy doing the puckering.
Trump released himself from the hospital last week declaring he was magically cured of the Coronavirus by a combination of his superior will, bleach and Dr. Fauci's tears. Ever since, he's been chomping at the bit to get out among his rabid fans and spread more of his special kind of love.
The covid cupid is so in love with his crowd, and himself, he wants to treat them all to a lifetime of immunity which may come with fever, shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, stroke and/or premature internment. And all it takes is a kiss.
That's right friends, one full on smooch with the Cheetoh is all it takes to have all the protection you need from the 'Rona. It has to be true, the man said so himself.
So dog bit fans are snatching up available tickets that haven't already been scammed by cheeky millenials to the next nearest healing huddle formerly known as a Trump rally. The handlers are specifically choosing locations with near critical infection rates just to prove a point.
Just what point is that you wonder? Take your pick.
I think the point they want to make is "we're number one". Since we're not number one in the things we used to be number one in and won't be anytime soon, we got to grab the low hanging fruit.
And during this world-wide pandemic, Trump's America has proven we can grab low hanging fruit better than anybody. Who has the most cases? We do! Who has the most deaths? We do! What country is doing the least to control an out of control pandemic? We are! Which country still has elected officials and political purveyors telling folks there's nothing to worry about? We do!
We're number one. Right now there are more Americans dying during the pandemic than in any other high income country. Since June, deaths in the United States per capita are an average of 50% higher than others. Our Covid-19 death rate is 27.2 per 100,000 people. To put it in context, Italy's is 3.1 per 100,000. Our death rate is a full 85% higher than those socialist losers Germany, Israel and Denmark.
Who says we aren't number 1?
Despite months of claiming the numbers of cases and deaths from Covid-19 are exagerated, new research suggests we've undercounted virus related deaths in this country by 75,000. This creates a bit of dissonance in the mind of the Trumpet. On the one hand, the whole thing is a hoax. But on the other, nearly 300,000 deaths puts us in an insurmountable lead in the pandemic sweepstakes.
This isn't the great most of us were looking for, but it's certainly the great many of us deserve. Being an underserving fool, at best, I took matters into my own hands and voted on the first day of in-person early voting. Instead of telling you how to vote, I'll just pass on my strategy.
I've decided to skip the Tongue Tango with Trump and support leadership that understands having the highest mortality from a pandemic isn't winning.