Once upon a time someone said March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Once upon a time sounds so much better than sometime I don't know when.
It was a time before you or I were born. Before our grandparents were born, surely. A time before electricity and Starbucks. A time when buffalo roamed the plain and no planes creased the sky.
Back when February didn't close with 2 weeks of sixty and seventy degree days. Have we talked about this before?
Our long dry cold spell gave way to a deluge of warm and soggy days. March begins with more of the same.
We're going to have to rethink that lion thing. Maybe a simple respelling would take care of it.
That roar you hear as March arrives is the lyin'. Will the lyin' go out bleating?
Only time and Mueller will tell. The lyin' will still be lyin' when March ends, I think. The bleating is still a few months down. But don't be fooled, the lamb will be fleeced.
The truth rises eventually, no matter how many lyins'. The Russians compromised voter registration websites, including databases in seven states before the 2016 presidential election.
That's not good news for the lyin' in chief. Neither are reports that Mr. Mueller is investigating The Donald's business deals in Russia before the campaign.
Neither are reports the Cheetoh's key advisor--who also happens to be his son-in-law--can't get a security clearance. Don't worry, he reads top secret documents to the Lyin in Chief, anyway.
You'd think all this bad news would quiet the Lyin'. Nah. It's only March. There are 31 days of tweeting this month alone. Just type after me: no collusion. He never says collusion.
After he puts his private pilot in charge of the FAA, he's going to star in an action movie. But not with Arnold. Not with any action pretenders. Cadet Bone Spurs has declared he's ready to serve.
Now that we know he would have run into Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School with nothing but a copy of Art of the Deal in hand, we can only imagine what only he can imagine his heroic self could have accomplished.
You know Davy Crockett would have walked right out of the Alamo if ole Don had only been there to force Santa Anna into building that wall. Everybody says so.
And if Ole Don was on hand instead of that dowdy Pickett for the Charge at Gettysburg, General Lee would have been some country's president. How sad.
And certainly if Don had just been at Hamburger Hill, it would have been under the Golden Arches in a couple months. Surely if he'd only had the chance he'd have marched right in. He woulda.
But in the age of the lyin', we're just left to wonder what could have been. We have elected the perfect President of the I Woulda Club. The ones who rise high in that club are always the ones that never did.
But they sure woulda. March woulda come in like a lion if it coulda. But it's lyin' instead.