Last Sunday afternoon right as the second football game was getting started, my neighbor came knocking on my front door.
Not waiting for an answer, he let himself in. He doesn't usually do this, but he was excited.
"SJ, you're not gonna believe what's going on at Food City!"
You might remember Meat was up in arms over the impending spread of Ebola and Pikeville a few weeks back. The election cooled his Ebola fever but I wasn't sure where he stood on his Pikeville panic.
"What's up Meat? I thought you were staying out of Pikeville. Hand me one of those beers."
Meat was carring a cold twelve pack. I figured he'd been to the Laurel Shop. He reached into the box and thrust a can in my direction.
"They're selling beer today at Food City. I just bought this twelve pack a half hour ago. Do you know what this means?"
Let me pause in the conversation to state, as plainly as possible, the most obvious and/or correct answer is usually not the one Meat arrives at. So when he asks if you know what something means, you generally don't.
Which is why I had to think about it. The right answer is because our county seat is looking forward and taking the steps a forward looking city does to ensure their place in a dynamic, changing economy. The kind of thing a well run, forward thinking town does. The obvious answer is there will be increased revenues for restaurants, hotels and other merchants which in turn increases tax revenues. These responses are analytical and logical, so throw those out, they can't be what he's looking for.
"Well, Meat, I guess it means we don't have to go to Virginia to get a drink on Sunday?"
"Wrong, SJ. Think about it."
You're always in trouble when Meat suggests you think about it. You've got to immerse your brain in the type of conspiracy theories you find on websites that have "truth" somewhere in their addresses like www.tensimplytruthyfacts.net or www.hiddentruthsbeforeyoureyes.ru. The kind of websites trusted by Dungeons and Dragsons burnouts in suburbs all over the world.
"I don't want to think about it Meat. I'm watching football. Just tell me what it means. Does it mean the church crowd won't fill Applebee's on Sunday afternoon anymore? Does it mean all our visitors will stop in Pikeville to eat instead of here on their way home? Does it mean the Keeping Elkhorn Behind Tomorrow Association will boycott Hillbilly Days? Does it mean some little, tiny part of our region is trying to break out of the death spiral? What? What does buying beer at Food City on Sunday mean?"
Meat sat down on the couch and opened a can for himself. He took a drink, then stared at the label for a minute. His shoulders slumped a bit and he looked over at me. He said something I sure never thought I'd hear.
"It means, well...maybe it means...maybe it means Pikeville coming for us ain't so bad."