Today I'm going to tell you something you probably won't believe. It's possible I won't even believe it.
It's unbelievable. There's no proof for what I'm going to reveal.
I'm undecided on the veracity of the story. But Meat swore on his mommy's grave and that packs a lot of weight.
Yesterday's text from Meat was a tip. "Come over after Tater gets home. I got something to tell you." He always has something to tell me but he never says wait for Tater.
I was so curious when I heard Tater's car door slam in the drive-way, I practically followed her into the house. "Alright what is it?"
Meat was parked on the couch with his feet on the coffee table. Tater pulled a twelve pack out of a paper bag, waved his feet out of the way and dropped it on the table. She kept on going back into the house.
"What took you so long?" He opened the box and handed me a beverage, pulled one out for himself and opened it. Then put it down, got up and carried the ten pack to the kitchen.
Tater came back into the living room. "Well? What do you think?"
"What do you mean what do I think? What do I think about what?"
Tater screwed up her eyes. "Meat!" She yelled, "did you tell him?"
Meat came in with two more cans, handed one to Tater. "No he walked right in behind you. How could I tell him?"
"What's going on?" They were making me nervous. Meat was normal but Tater was freaking out.
Meat looked at me calmly and said "Next week's eclipse is a hoax. It's a conspiracy. Your cousin told me."
That didn't sound right. Not the eclipse part. I stammered..."my cousin?"
"Yeah" he said. "Your cousin Waddy from Peytona...we've been talking for the last week."
"Meat, there is no Waddy. I made Waddy up." That may or may not be true.
"You've never met Waddy, how do you know you've been talking to him?"
"I did when we were kids!"
"That was Allen from Long Island."
Tater nearly screamed, "I saw him too, he spacetimed us!" She was borderline hysterical. Meat was calm as he could be. "And I don't even have Facetime SJ...my phone suddenly sounded like Star Trek and next thing I know I'm talking to Waddy somewhere between between the rings of Saturn."
"You could see the rings of Saturn SJ!" Tater still shrill.
Meat carried on, "So he tells me the eclipse next week is not a real one but a deep state conspiracy to see if AI technology can fake an eclipse. According to him, if there's an eclipse, there really wasn't an eclipse. That's the proof."
"Did he tell you the lizards will come out and take credit if there's no eclipse?" I asked.
Meat and Tater stared at me. "That's exactly what he said" cried Tater.
"So what do you think?" Meat asked. What I told him was I think they really should slow down on the mushroom gummies.
What I think is I've got to have a long talk with my cousin about his practical jokes.