Spring has sprung all you long sleeve wearers. It's time to get with the season.
Spring officially hit the calendar last Tuesday. You might have missed it considering it came with the coldest morning we've had in weeks. I was kind of hoping those below freezing temperatures would kill my grass so I could wait another month to start mowing.
I don't think it works this way, but wouldn't it be lovely if a deep freeze would kill all the rapidly growing grass so it didn't grow the rest of the summer? It kills blossoms and flowers so they don't come back until the next season, so why doesn't it work on grass?
Which begs the question: Who is the doofus who invented the lawn? I don't know who it was, but I guarantee it was someone who had yard guys. We've all heard of the Earl of Sandwich. The Baron of Bluegrass? Whoever it was, I hope they're spending eternity in the fifth ring of hades.
I once threatened to hardtop my front yard in Atlanta and paint it green. I would have done it, too, if it weren't for the lawn police. Did you know some places have laws that say you have to have grass in front of your house? Well they do.
But that's still not as bad as living under a neighborhood association.
If you are ever confronted with the choice of living in a place with front yard laws or with a neighborhood association, go with the laws. They make lawyers for laws. They make nothing for a neighborhood association.
Anyway, I guess the point is we're entering mowing season and I am not happy about it. I'm hoping it isn't too late to take a small tiller to the front lawn and turn it to dirt. Then spread around a mix of goldenrod, sunflower and daisy seeds. Maybe a few pepper plants for some spice. Anything I don't have to mow once a week.
There's another season we're entering around here that's a lot nicer to think about. But something might be fishy there, too.
Did you catch that? Morel mushroom, aka dryland fish, season is upon us and I'm sure many of you are in the hills keeping an eye on your secret spots. The great thing about fishing for morel is you don't need a license. The less great thing is you better not hook the wrong fish.
Last spring fifty-one people in Bozeman, Montana got sick after eating at Dave's Sushi. Several were hospitalized and two died. Most of them ate a dish that contained morel mushrooms.
Now before you give up your dryland fish, you should know the restaurant did not gather their own mushrooms. They got them from a distributor who got them from China. Which leads to the best dryland fishing advice I can give you.
When you're up behind your house, scouring your secret place for that prize delicacy, make sure you look for the expiration date on the stems. If it's in Chinese, better leave them behind.