What do you call 4000 Porsches at the bottom of the ocean? Still worth more than a ruble.
Too soon?
I should explain. Technically, 4000 Porsches did not make it to the bottom of the ocean. There were Porsches, Bentleys, Lamborghinis, Audis and regular old luxury Volkswagens on that burning cargo ship that sank last Tuesday about 250 miles off the Azores.
According to Volkswagen Group, the conglomerate that builds all those pretty cars, all is well. The cargo was insured so they'll get a fat check and get to rebuild all the cars they lost because most were pre-orders. It's like selling the same car twice. That's what they call a "win-win" in the conglomerate world.
The ship was on its way to Rhode Island, so you know there's a bunch of ticked off country clubbers from Newport to Riviera. Like most of the things those people are mad about, they'll be mad enough to order another tax cut from their lackeys in Washington and maybe pick up a Cadillac to slum around in the meantime.
The ship caught fire at sea and burned for two weeks before it sank. The crew was rescued soon after the fire started and the ship was being towed. The source of the fire is unknown, but that doesn't mean you can't find it on the internet. It didn't take long for me and google to discover the fire started when (choose one, any one)
a) Hunter Biden's laptop was onboard. b) a lithium battery in one of the cars blew up. c) Hillary's email. d) a saboteur from Lexus struck a match. e) mandatory Covid vaccinations drove the crew mad f) a sea dragon obviously g) there was no ship.
My money is on a combination of b and e and one of the Bentleys was bound for Mitt Romney's garage. Or Joe Manchin's. Probably both.
I didn't find the Mitt Romney and Joe Manchin part of that on the internet. That's my own creation. But choices a through g did. Who says one of those isn't right? Who says they all aren't?
I'm sure the insurance adjusters will figure it out. All they've got to do is snorkel down about 8 or 9000 feet to investigate.
Speaking of sinking deep, somehow the Russian ruble has plummeted even lower. The free world's reaction to the invasion of Ukraine, not with rockets but with banks and trade, will cripple Russia in the long run. Squeezing the oligarchs along with the Kremlin will rush the effect.
While I write this, Putin appears to have completely miscalculated the reaction from the world and the fight in the Ukranians. President Zelensky remains in harms way in Kyev, inspiring his country and the world. Russian banks have been cut off by world banks and Switzerland, famously neutral even during World War II, has announced sanctions against Russia.
Remember all those cars at the bottom of the ocean? Germany may have another idea about how all those German built cars got there. In an about-face in policy, the Chancellor announced increased military spending and direct shipments of arms to Ukraine.
Germans take their cars seriously. No wonder Putin is looking worried.