You'll never guess who walked through my door this morning! Oh, you can? You're right. Meat, one of my favorite turkeys.
"Happy Trumpsgiving!"
"Come on man...that ain't funny."
"Well you thought it was pretty funny when you wrote it last Thanksgiving." He waved a one year old copy of the News-Express in my face.
It's true. If I remember correctly, I thought it was hilarious. I snatched the paper and read the old column.
"Geez...depressing."
"I told you. You and Tater both. You didn't take Trump seriously. Neither did your precious St. Hillary."
"Well you're right about that. You voted for him didn't you?"
"You take me for a fool? The guy's a complete fraud! And I didn't vote for Hillary neither."
Which, as it turns out, is why Tater's gone to Vermont and Meat is standing in my living room. When he confessed he didn't vote Clinton, she just couldn't take it. All she said was 'see you later' when she walked out the door.
The way Meat sees it, he'll see her later. He even added it to the list of things he's thankful for. He keeps a list every year.
"Well I'm thankful there'll be no shortage of things to write about for the next year," I said after he showed me the list.
"If that makes you feel better, SJ, whatever it takes."
Whatever it takes is right. Things aren't great right now, not on several fronts. President Trump went from being a good punch-line to an electoral college vote away from the actual White House.
There's always the possibility the electors will vote their conscience, as the Constitution states. But I'm betting many of these conscientious constitutionalists on the right prefer to overlook that passage.
Kind of like they always overlook the preamble which in modern documents is called a mission statement. I'd be thankful if you read it.
On different fronts, maybe this is just part of the recovery from having my midsection cut open. A 4 inch gash across your belly button can leave a mark.
Then there's the state of the commonwealth. Every day people hardly ever come out better under the Republican vicegrip. The poor get poorer, the sick get sicker, and the ticked-off will be covered in ticks and shooting at the wrong enemy.
It is Thanksgiving, though. I'm really a give thanks daily kind of guy, but I know it's popular to make a big production of it this week. It's just tough to jump up and dance these days. Let's face it, President Trump really never was funny.
I am thankful I still live in a country where I can spill my ideas in black and white across a printed page and that somebody who thinks something different can do the same.
That right was in the first amendment for a reason. I hope my pro-second amendment friends are as strident to protect it. I'd be thankful for that.
And the first thing I mentioned. There really is going to be too much to write about. Maybe I should double up!
It's turkey day and the good lord has blessed me and my fellow professional opinionators with turkeys in abundance.
A turkey in every pot!