Meat and Tater have been pretty quiet since Bernie kind of almost conceded the Democratic presidential nomination. Tater was putting up a pretty good front until Sanders said he'd vote for Hillary in November. But now she hasn't posted a Feel the Bern meme in over a week.
I decided to wander over this morning and check on them. Tater answered the door, her eyes still red rimmed as the last time I'd seen her. Meat was hammering away on his computer keyboard.
"Hey SJ, what brings you over?"
"Haven't talked to you guys in a bit, thought I'd check in."
"That's what phones are for buddy," offered Meat with a flourish of an extended index finger that he pointed at me then onto some key on the keyboard. Probably a period.
"Seems kinda lazy to call your next door neighbor, doesn't it?"
Tater seemed to be in a haze, but Meat was on point. He jumped up from his computer, ignoring my comment. He dashed over to a printer on the shelf while it loudly pulled a sheet of paper into the hopper, rumbling as the ink-jet mechanism squeaked with each pass.
"You ain't the only opinionator on this street, SJ. I've been working on this letter to the editor all morning. Read it and weep."
On the weep part of that statement, Tater let out a strained, half choked sigh. She stared out the window. I took the page from Meat and began reading. Here's what I read:
To Whom It May Concern,
This concerned citizen has a few questions and a few things to say, so listen up.
First, where's my 48% raise? If it weren't for basketball, nobody would care about that college in Lexington. They obviously pay their employees by TV appearance. I just want to know if Nike is picking up the president's salary or will they just raise tuition again. Guess the governor likes that board of trustees.
Second, I'm glad England dumped Europe. Who needs France? Give me Freedom Fries with my burger. They do have burgers in England, right? England deserves to be free just like we are.
Third, if I was Chief of Police of Elkhorn I'd be drunk all the time. Have you ever been to Elkhorn? All there is to do is go outside. If we had a mall or a Hardee's, we'd be somebody.
"Meat you're drunk all the time now, you don't need to..."
"Just read SJ."
Fourth and finally, Bernie ain't dead yet. Benghazi, e-mail and the Clinton Foundation are going to bring Hillary down before the convention. There's going to be an uprising and Bernie will be swept right into the White House.
My girlfriend has given up and says she'll vote for Hillary but I refuse to fold. By gosh, I'll stay home first. Just like I did the last governor's election. And look how that turned out.
Sincerely,
A concerned citizen
When I finished reading, I handed it over toward Tater. She brushed it away.
"He won't stay home, I know him. He'll go vote for Trump. That man will cut off his nose to spite his face every time."
Tell me about it.