Several folks up Elkhorn way are still crying in their beer over the failed damp petition. A lot more would if you could just get a beer in town.
We've been so focused lately on nation-wide terror, we almost forgot about about Elkhorn's biggest fear: drunk hikers. Many in town were petrified a vote allowing alcohol sales in restaurants would lead to more foreigners walking, floating, biking, or riding through. These days they're giving thanks that nobody actually lives at the Post Office, helping us dodge the tourism pipe bomb a little longer.
The upside for the heathens who think visitors and commerce are good for a town, the next petition won't need so many signatures. While that is an excellent gift, a better one might be an operator's manual for the petition handlers. Wrapped in fine paper, of course!
Speaking of foreigners and signatures, the new governor has taken office and might possibly have already burned it down by the time you're reading this. If he hasn't, it's entirely possible he has sealed the state borders to keep Syrian refugees out.
That's well and good with city hall, but it doesn't go far enough. Radicals from dangerous places like Lexington, Louisville, and yes, even Prestonsburg will still be able to come in and spread their radical ideas. Before you know it, people will be talking zoning and bicycle lanes.
People who aren't in the Elkhorn Heritage Council, that is.
Back to the governor, lets hope he's like all the other politicians who proised one thing in a campaign and then does the opposite. Otherwise, many Kentuckians are about to get the sticker shock to end a lifetime.
Cancelling a couple hundred thousand Kentuckians health insurance doesn't sound like a very holiday spirited thing to do. Especially from such an avowed believer in the redemptive power of tax evasion.
Dismantling the state's implementation of the ACA would be like trading that brand new Mercedes for a Chevy Vega. If you're too young to get that analogy, like trading that I-Phone 6 for a flip phone. Way to break those demographics!
Speaking of demographics, there aren't any eastern Kentuckians who aren't as proud as they could be of Harlan County's Jordan Smith for winning The Voice. While I cannot claim to have watched a single episode of the show, it's sure great when good things fall upon a fellow hillbilly.
It's true that most locals voting for him wouldn't know Freddie Mercury from Henry Ford, but that's okay. As some clever local put it, it was good to see a local represent without banjo, bible or ballcap. Not that there's anything wrong with those things. And definitely nothing wrong with the young man's talent!
In the spirit of the season, I'd like to offer a toast to talent, to tenacity, and to folks who are happy with the holidays they are blessed with. I"d like to, but the governor sealed the state and I can't get to the Laurel Shop and it's an hour round trip to Pikeville and you can't buy beer in Elkhorn.
All I've got has been cried in.