You know what they say. Timing is everything.
And what better time to start renovating government buildings than when the government is shut down? Seems entirely logical in a logical world.
But that's not our world.
In the world we live in, timing is when you start tearing the end off the White House to build a throne room the day after seven million Americans gather nationwide against your regime.
I know, I know, they're calling it a ballroom for appearance sake but we all know it'll be the space his highness receives other royalty, billionaires and common ring kissers. Just like the main dining room in Mar-a-Lago.
The work had to start now to be ready for the big reveal during next year's 250th celebration. You might think it's the celebration of 250 years monarchy free but that's not quite it. It's the celebration of the end of 250 years without a king.
MAGA baby.
There are a lot more renovations you'll be learning about. The congress has proven it has no relevance or use whatsoever over the last 20-25 years, ceding most of its power to the executive branch already. Expect the new Trump Resort and Casino to take that space before the soon to be cancelled mid-terms.
And what is a resort without a golf course? You've got the whole National Mall right there which covers 310 acres. Plenty of space for 18 holes and a nice putting green on the Vietnam Memorial.
Remember that political party that existed once upon a time? They called it the party of Lincoln? Since it's long gone, no real need to keep that monument on the other end of the mall. Let's be honest, most of Don John's true believers were never Lincoln fans anyway. Hell no they weren't forgettin!
But wait, there's more. No need for a Supreme Court when it rubber stamps everything you can dream up. Who needs to know what's constitutional if there's no constitution. The Court of Trump needs no judges but it does need a Ministry of Truth. Out with the robes and in with the probes.
Many of you might breathe a sigh of relief to know the Washington Monument will remain in place. And by remain in place, we mean the obelisk itself will remain but painted orange and rechristened Trump Tower. What else would you call it?
Washington might have been the first president of the United States, but Donald is the first King of America.
Which is why the highest structure in D.C. will be the perfect site for the grand finale of next year's 250th celebration. It's not certain who all will be included, but sources suggest Lee Greenwood, Kid Rock and a giant hologram of Hulk Hogan are booked.
There will be a military parade with enough tank weight to destroy every street in D.C., a massive firework display that will probably include missiles fired at random democrat holdout cities, and the finale where Trump burns the constitution with a lighter gifted to him by Jeffrey Epstein and presented by the former (and future) Prince Andrew.
Timing is everything and Randy Andy is looking for a new gig. A royal consultancy for a new monarchy is quite timely.